Every year at about this same time I want to leave New York. Something terrible happens, or I just get a weird feeling that I should run, get out and find the sun. Everyone around me seems to have the means to jump to Puerto Rico or Mexico at a moments notice. I don't really think more vacation is what I'm looking for. I just want to feel good again about where I live. I often feel like I stay in a place just long enough to burn bridges and develop an irreparable reputation- and then I leave. Its my trend. I haven't quite done that here, but I'm coming up on my 4th year in NY, so it can't be far off. I feel like haven't done anything of note here...... but really that is just because I'm still single. No secular accomplishment really holds a candle to hooking a husband in the mormon culture. Hence my inability to see value in anything I've done.
I was raised in a waiting room, where all I have to do is stand against a wall and wait to be picked. Unfortunately I wasn't blessed with the looks or personality to be picked first, and no one really taught me what to do if I'm still waiting at the wall at 29. No one taught me how to dance by myself. I'm working on it though, day by day, 1-2-3- cha cha cha....
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