CHURCH

I've been going to church the last 3 weeks. Trying to make it a habit again because I think its good for me. I like the structure, the community, and the singing. It feels good to touch base with God and have a minute to think. Here's the problem with the minute to think part. I get very very very sad sitting there thinking. I see all these wonderful women, they are beautiful and kind and have kids and husbands and seem to have it all together. I know they are human and have flaws and all that, but damn, they are amazing! I will never be one of them and it really bums me out. I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, but how can I not? We come from the same background, and yet somehow I totally missed the boat. I beat to my own drummer, I'm weird, unsure of everything, and still feel like I don't have an identity. Its like they knew something early on that I didn't. What did I miss?!! Anyway, I'm going to keep going to church, despite how bad I feel about myself when I go. After all, I really like the singing.