INGRAINED

Lately I feel like I am as much Mormon as I have brown hair, as much as I am female, and as much as I have hazel eyes. I have been off and on the straight and narrow for a long time now, long enough that I shouldn't be that sensitive anymore. But as much as I try to dull it, its all still there. The only explanation is DNA, or my mom is praying for me. I tell you what, that woman has quantifiable super prayer power abilities to influence my life. I told her to pray for me to get a job, and all I hear when I pray about getting a job is God saying "go to church." Writing this now, I think I am realizing it is definitely my mother doing this. I will ask her and report back. I know it sounds crazy, but you don't know my mom.
What I'm really trying to say is- I think soon I may have to stop denying that I'm mormon inside. Its been a good 3 or 4 years now on the fringe. Do I have the motivation to get back into the fold.....ummmmmm I dunno.....right now? no. Someday? maybe

SECRETLY

I am secretly attracted to all of my guy friends. I couldn't spend so much time with them otherwise. So--if I feel that way, how is it that they can spend so much time with me and NOT be attracted to me at all? I'm not trying to be vain, but they so easily separate me from any romantic interest, when I'm constantly battling in my mind over my raging hormones. There is probably some underlying problem that I have. That I can't really be "just friends" with guys and hang out all the time. But they can it seems. What is the secret? And what is it about me that so quickly puts me in the friend zone? I wouldn't mind a little coaching in using my feminine power, but then again I can't see myself being anything but me anyway. I like the way I am, I just wish awesome sexy ambitious high morale men did too.